Excerpt from my book, A Friendly Guide to Writing and Ghostwriting
There are many reasons to write, some of them worthwhile and others not so much. A twenty-one-year-old young man told me that he wanted to get published so he could brag about it to his friends. A woman said she didn't care what she put on the page as long as it was making her lots of money. Someone else said he knew very little about his topic and he hadn't done much research because he believed that you teach what you need to learn.
If you're writing for approval, wealth or to teach something you don't know, you’re on the wrong track. Writing has so much more to it than getting attention and approval.
Anais Nin said, “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.”
Feminist author, Gloria Steinem says, “Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.”
When you make it into the writing zone, you’re fashioning your own private world where you get to make up the rules, define the boundaries, and you can stay there as long as you like and leave whenever you want. You are judge and jury of your internal reality. You decide who is welcome and who is not, who is guilty and who is innocent. No one gets to add or subtract anything in your world without first getting permission from you.
How often does that occur in life, where you are the sole creator of a reality that is yours and yours alone? Whether you feel ecstatic or intimidated, just remember that the ultimate reward is in the doing. It has to be, because there’s no telling if your book will find a home other than your own. There’s no telling if it’ll become a blockbuster bestseller or end up on the remainders table. There’s no telling if thousands of people will read it or if you’ll be showing it to a few close friends. Just do it for its own sake, and see what happens. When you stop second guessing yourself and your abilities, the world of writing can be a safe haven, a place to feel welcome, an outlet to express your emotions and an escape hatch when the world around you seems overwhelming.
These are some of the reasons that I write.
There are also plenty of reasons that I don’t write. The worst offender is the inner critic. He or she shows up as a debasing, tricky voice that whispers judgments in your ear, taking great pains to coerce you into feeling badly about yourself. This demon inserts itself in all walks of life, but for me, it became especially loud when I was writing my first book, Awakening the Healer Within. I managed to make the journey from the couch to the computer every day, I felt good about that, but all the while, I was at war with an invisible enemy that knew my trigger points and was scheming to make me retreat. I fought him daily (he felt like a male) against a steady backdrop of, “Who do you think you are? You're no writer. You're going to be a dismal failure. You’ll never get published. Don’t waste your time.”
I won the battle. I finished the book and after what felt like forever, I found a publisher. But battling demeaning voices every day is enough to discourage the most dedicated artist.
When I started writing my second book, a novel that had been forming in my mind for some time, I hoped my inner critic would take a rest. I’d already gotten one book published. That should have been enough to quiet him down, I figured, but no such luck. He had no regard for what I’d already accomplished. “You’re no novelist,” he said. “You’ll never get this published. You better stick with what you know.”
In her book, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, J. K. Rowling describes a prison called Azkaban where there are no doors or locks. They don’t need them. They have Dementors as jailers, foul wraith-like creatures that float though the ethers, draining hope, peace and happiness from people, leaving them paralyzed with despair.
In my experience, the inner critic acts like a Dementor, casting a dark shadow and trying to undermine my wellbeing before I ever put pen to paper. Or fingers to keyboard. It yaks in my ear, it uses me as a whipping post and it’s hard to remember when that punishing voice wasn’t with me. I only know that it won’t shut up or go away as it attempts to break me down and steer me in the wrong direction. When I try to avoid it, it picks up steam and urges me to quit what I’m doing.
Here are some popular avoidance excuses that come straight from the bile of the inner critic:
1. I don't know what I want to say.
2. I don't have time to say it.
3. When I sit down to write, my mind goes blank. I’d rather water the plants or watch TV.
4. Whenever I feel like I’m making headway, my inner critic goes crazy on me.
5. My material has no value.
6. I refuse to show my work to anyone. I don’t want to humiliate myself.
7. I’ll just clean off my desk and start tomorrow.
8. If I write, it’ll be mediocre. I’d rather die.
Here are some statements to counter that voice:
1. I have a good idea and I can't wait to start writing.
2. I have no deadline so I can take my time.
3. When I sit down to write, my mind is overflowing with possibilities.
4. Anything I write is a step forward.
5. My material is as important as anyone else’s.
6. I keep my work to myself until I decide to show it to someone who knows more than I do.
7. I keep my work space uncluttered so I can think clearly.
8. It doesn't matter if my writing is good or bad. I need to keep writing.
Louise Hay said, You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.