Psychic or Psycho?
Throughout my decades-long writing career, I’ve been fortunate to write for some talented, wise people who truly care about others and wish healing for anyone who is suffering. I’ve investigated international healers, psychics and spiritual coaches. Benevolent life guides. Motivational speakers. Death and dying experts. Philippine faith healers. Grief counselors and deep thinkers. They have different methods of healing and different opinions about what being psychic means but they all have two things in common: they have compassion for people’s pain and they never tell anyone what to do. Instead, they inspire people to think for themselves and follow their inner guidance. They encourage self-love and they discourage you from trying to find somone else to heal you. They consider that an inside job.
At the same time, I’ve encountered people who seem to have missed the point. I was writing a blog when I got a phone call from an acquaintance whom I hardly knew. I’d met her at a birthday gathering for a mutual friend. “What can I do for you?” I asked.
She got straight to the point. “I have a great opportunity for you,” she said. Her voice rose up an octave and the pace of her speech quickened. “I’m working with an Indian psychic, you know, I’m doing his PR, like placing ads on social media and making calls to special people. Like you. His name is Mahatma Handa. We call him Handi. You must have heard of him.”
Handi or Handsy? I thought to myself. “No,” I said. “I haven’t heard of him.”
“That’s a surprise,” she said. “He’s very popular. You did a book about a guru, didn’t you? I figured you must have heard of Handi. Well, anyway, he’s fabulous. I got a reading from him and everything he said was right on. He changed my life. He knew things about me I didn’t even know. It was uncanny and I’m helping him get the word out. It’s a volunteer job. That’s how much I believe in him.”
I was anxious to get back to my writing. “What does this have to do with me?”
“He’s offering you a free reading.
“He doesn’t know me.”
“That doesn’t matter. I’ve told him all about you. You’ll be surprised how good he is. He’s the real deal and he might be interested in hiring you to do his book.”
She thought she was dangling a carrot. It was more like a boring bowl of soggy oatmeal. “Thanks for thinking of me,” I said, “but I’m not ghostwriting anymore and I don’t want a reading. I keep my own counsel.”
After editing and writing so many self-help books, I’ve heard it all. The players are different but the gist is always the same: Some charismatic snake oil peddler says, “I know you better than you know yourself. If you let me guide you, you can reach enlightenment – for a roll in the hay and a small fee.” Define “small.” I’d listened to a number of these so-called gurus but I never found anything of value for me or my life. That’s why I still have my home, my bank account and my own opinions. How can anyone know more about me than I do? Arrogance is annoying, Spiritual arrogance is shameful and damaging.
Seeing psychics was all the rage during the sixties and seventies. Why think for yourself if you can find someone else to do it? I knew a woman who kept five psychics at the ready. If she didn’t like what she heard from the first one, she called the next one. And on and on until she got the message she wanted. These all-knowing types pop up everywhere. Over the years, I’ve met a clairvoyant/psychiatrist/ life coach/psychic. I’ve met a self-declared enlightened seminar leader, a horny tantric guide, a sadistic massage therapist, a tarot-reading witch and an auric healer who claimed to take on the illnesses of the people she worked on. When I met her, she grabbed a layer of fat around her belly and said, “This isn’t mine.”
“Whose is it?” I asked her.
I can understand why finding someone to tell you what to do and how to think is so popular. We live in a chaotic, often hostile world and maintaining our equilibrium is no easy task. Turning to your inner guidance instead of an outer evaluation by someone else is a vulnerable way to live but it’s the only way that makes any sense. I come across this conundrum in my writing classes. When my students are afraid to read their pieces to the class, I remind them that we are all in the same boat and there is no good or bad writing. There is only authenticity. If you allow yourself to be vulnerable and put the truth on the page, that’s good writing.
I’d like to point out here that thinking for yourself and thinking about yourself are two very different concepts. They are both about putting yourself first, but the former honors your inner guidance and encourages others to do the same, while the latter is about seeing yourself as the only person in the room. George Harrison wrote a song called “Think For Yourself,” warning people against listening to lies. It’s not defined as a love song, but the way I see it, it’s a song about loving yourself.
A popular radio personality said, “When I stopped to take a breath, I noticed I had wings.”
There are a few ways to tell the difference between a psychic and a psycho. If the person you’re listening to is scaring you, don’t listen. If they’re predicting the future, don’t believe them. And if someone claims to know you better than you know yourself, point your feet in the opposite direction and start walking.