The First Meeting: Excerpt From My Book: A Friendly Guide to Writing and Ghostwriting
I had to stop going to auditions thinking, “Oh, I hope they like me.” I had to go in thinking I was the answer to their problem.
Ghostwriting jobs begin with a “getting to know you” meeting, an audition of sorts, a necessary but nerve wracking process. I’m no stranger to auditions, having endured epic ones when I was climbing the ranks in the ballet world.
I was sixteen when two hundred fifty or so hopefuls and I showed up for the early morning call at the Broadway Theater in Manhattan to demonstrate our skills as we vied for coveted spots in the company. The choreographers, teachers, and artistic director sat in the third row of the orchestra in a darkened theater, with a spotlight aimed onstage, lighting us up and throwing the auditioners into blackness. Disappointed dancers were being eliminated to the right and left of me all day, until at 5 PM, six of us were left standing. “Congratulations,” said the artistic director, walking on stage to shake our hands. “You made it.”
A ballet audition like the one I just described is a one-way street as you try to stand out and prove your worthiness to a group of people. A first meeting to write a book, another form of audition, stands in stark contrast. It’s a two-way street, in which potential clients audition you, the ghostwriter/collaborator, while you're secretly auditioning them. In essence, the ghosting has already begun.
There is so much to figure out in a first meeting in a short period of time. You have to discern if the two of you can get along. You have to discern whether he or she enjoys the creative process, is amenable to collaborating, has a vision for the book, and is interested in having a productive and enjoyable partnership. The criteria I use in the initial “getting to know you” meeting, AKA the audition, is generally the same with everyone:
1. I quiet the butterflies in my stomach.
No matter how many times I face a meeting with the VIP of the moment, I have to get over the mystique that surrounds him or her in order to have a fruitful conversation. Rumor may have it that she’s a joy to be around or a misery to work with, but I have to evaluate that for myself. I need to see her apart from reputations, judgments, and abounding gossip.
I’ve learned a lot about handling famous people, but it isn't easy to have no reaction when Grace Slick is quietly humming a refrain from “White Rabbit,” to herself. Or when Magic Johnson strides into a meeting in full basketball gear and offers me his hand which is twice the size of mine. Or when Kenny Loggins plays his latest as yet unpublished tracks for me. A news anchor showed me her in-home newsroom with multiple TV screens covering the walls on every side. An Oscar winning movie star invited me into her massive three room closet, almost a big as a house, full of Chanel, Armani, and Prada, equipped with a combination lock.
It’s difficult not to become star struck and stupid under the spell of fame and fortune. It’s heady and exciting, but I talk myself down and find an inner calm so the client and I can make a connection. I need her to see me as a peer, not so much in fame or wealth, but rather in consciousness and presence so she won't feel she has the right to boss me around. I need to prop her up, encourage her, and demonstrate self-confidence. If she senses fear or awe in me, she’ll shut down so I watch for the signs and decide how to best position myself to be seen how I need to be seen.
2. I try to make a good first impression.
A prospective client wants to be heard, acknowledged, and understood. She is about to spill her guts to me about personal things so she needs to feel safe. I let her know that my job is not to create a vision for her or urge her to expose things that she wants to keep secret. Rather, my job is to listen to her vision and help her express it. My confident and kind attitude needs to assure her that unlike press interviews, magazine articles, or talk shows, she will not ambushed or blindsided. She is often dubious. When I make it clear that nothing will be published without her seal of approval, she starts to relax.
During that first meeting, I look my client in the eye, and if she does the same with me, that’s a good sign. As the interview progresses, I take note: Does she listen? Does her vision make sense? Does she have one? Is she coherent and direct? Is she forthcoming about her life or will it take urging and cajoling? Can she hold a thought or does she get distracted and ramble off? Is she be willing to take direction? Does she treat me with respect? Does she understand the collaboration process? Does she play well with other children? Writing her memoir will require her to take criticism and direction, a tough thing for celebrities who are used to calling the shots and surrounding themselves with “Yes” people who bow and scrape at her feet.
3. My first question is: Why do you want to write a book?
I always begin the first meeting by asking, “Why do you want to write a book?” If the answer is, “I’ve had a full life and I’d like to share what I’ve learned,” or “I want to leave a legacy for my children,” I get a good feeling. If they say, “My agent thinks it’d be good for my career,” or “I want to get back at my boyfriend,” I go on red alert. Books, especially memoirs, are labors of love and every one involved has to work hard and keep their eyes on the prize – an authentic and compelling account that will draw in readers and hold their interest. All too often, a client doesn't really want to write a book. Rather, she wants to have a book written for her with minimal participation on her part. That isn't a collaboration and it doesn't work.
When a client says, “It has to be a best seller, nothing else will do,” that kind of pressure makes me want to cut and run. No matter how good the writing is or how famous the celebrity, no one knows what will get under a reader’s skin. No one knows what will resonate with the general public at any given time. You can write your ass off, do tons of research, and interview a client over and over, but there are no guarantees that you’ll have a bestseller on your hands. You have to show up each day, do the work, surrender it to the writing gods, and keep your fingers crossed.