CLICHÉS AND STALE DESCRIPTIONS
When you’re writing dialogue or describing a significant event, there are the words you hear and the thoughts that lie beneath the words. Very often, we don't speak in a logical or truthful way. Sometimes it’s humiliating to tell the truth. Or you’re afraid of hurting someone. Or you don’t want to believe what you’re hearing so you stay silent. But if you take the time to describe the body body language, you’ll be able to tune into the the subtext, the meaning that’s hiding beneath the words.
Back in the eighties, a friend of mine, Michael, was in a waiting room, about to get his results from an HIV test. He was distracting himself by reading a magazine article about Meryl Streep and when it was time for him to see the doctor, he took the magazine with him.
“Your results are positive,” the doctor told him. “I’m sorry. But we have a drug called AZT that will slow the spread.”
“That plant needs watering,” Michael said, gesturing to a fern next to him and buried his head in the article he was reading.
“Do you have any questions?” the doctor said.
Michael shook his head and when he left the office, he knew all about Meryl Streep’s movie career and her family life but he knew nothing about how to keep himself alive.
His reaction was unexpected but that’s how some people act when they’re facing tragic news. In his life changing book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor, wrote: An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior. My friend, Michael, was confronting an abnormal situation and he needed a good dose of normal denial to survive it and remain functional.
If you were writing that scene, how would you describe Michael’s reaction to his diagnosis? Would you have him say, “Omigod, I’m so scared,” or “I can’t believe it.” Or “I have to take the good with the bad.” Those clichés are stale and boring. It would be far better to have him notice a picture on the wall hanging crooked. Or a stain on his t-shirt. When you imagine the event, are his shoulders hitched up to his ears? Is he covered in perspiration? Is he laughing or crying? Is he ignoring the doctor altogether?
When you become thoughtful about authentic human reactions to both difficult and celebratory situations, you’ll find ways to transform an ordinary story into a captivating one. Beneath the clichés and the stale descriptions is an honest and creative way to express the feelings and thoughts of the people in your story.
Here are three ways to make your dialogue come alive:
1. Describe a scene or story from an alternate perspective, maybe that of a passing bystander.
2. Write about something who’s telling a lie.
3. Choose a commonplace unremarkable memory of a conversation and describe it like you wish it had happened.
Prompt: In your story, write some dialogue that sounds authentic. Think about the feelings that are driving the situation.
So great to meet you tonight! I am also interested in a writers group….
my email is larson.jill@gmail.com
looking forward!
I’m on the Zoom with you. I would
Love to have a private with you about my writing. My email is svontobel@icloud.com. Look forward to it.
I’d also be interested in a writers group if you end up doing one. Thanks for tonight. It was great!