The Yo-Yo Effect

When I was a kid, I used to play with yo-yos. I didn’t know any tricks like “Rock the Baby” or “Sleeper.” I just liked watching it slide up and down as if by magic. Today I have a pink and green yo-yo sitting in a sorter box on my desk. I can’t remember how it got there but every once in a while, I pick it up and play with it. The swinging motion of the toy lulls me and helps me clear my mind as it rides the air and goes up and down and back up again. But when I swing it too hard and it flies out of control, when my fingers lose their rhythm and the string ties itself into knots, it reminds me of the times when existence does the same thing. I call it the Yo-Yo effect.

Years ago, I went to hear spiritual leader, Baba Ram Dass, give a lecture. He told us about a day that started out really well. He was invested in the stock market and when he got up in the morning, the numbers were strong and were clearly moving in the right direction. He felt rich and he decided to buy an expensive pastry at his favorite bakery. But as he headed to the counter to place his order, he glanced at a pile of newspapers and read the headline, “Stock Market Dips.” He turned around and left the bakery. He felt too poor to buy a cinnamon bun.

The teaching I get from this is that when we tell ourselves positive stories, the yo-yo takes on a rhythm and we feel a sense of calm. We feel rich, happy, courageous and filled with love. When the yo-yo goes rogue, so do our thoughts, and before we know it, we’re on the roller coaster of emotions that cause us suffering. We’re poor. We’re sad. We’re afraid. We’re isolated. It all flips around according to what we’re thinking at any given time. We try to deny our thoughts and toss them away, but like a boomerang, we throw it out into the ethers and it comes flying back.

If we stop pushing against the natural order of things, if we take a pause and breathe, we can ride the waves in the direction they’re going. When there’s no resistance, we move naturally, seamlessly and methodically. A few days ago, I turned on the TV and the pundits were vomiting bad case scenarios. I started to feel dizzy, turned off the TV, and I had what I call a political breakdown. I wanted to hide in bed. I felt defeated and hopeless and I believed that the world was a terrible place and we were all doomed. But when I looked at the newspaper a few minutes later, there was an article about a mayor who was successfully helping the homeless. I felt uplifted, I believed that there were good people in the world and we were winning. And then, a friend called to tell me about a mass shooting and I believed once again that the world was a terrible place. And on and on.

“Believe” is the operative word here. I wonder why we’re so willing to believe the negative stories that we tell ourselves with nothing to back them up, while in actuality, our beliefs have no impact on the natural order of things. The tides keep on flowing in and out, even if we believe they won’t. The seasons keep changing. Flowers bloom and die and so do we.

Sometimes we like to fool ourselves with positive stories. When I was in my twenties, I was in the hospital where my uncle was dying. He had very little time left and each family member went to his room for a few minutes to say good-bye. When it was my father’s turn, he came out of my uncle’s room and announced, “I think he’s gonna make it.” He died an hour later.

We can’t know what will happen in the future so it would help us to figure out how to accept the normal ups and downs of life as they come and go and come and go. I remember reading that Ram Dass put a picture of a politician that he disliked immensely on his altar. He was trying to accept what was instead of what he wanted. He was trying to direct his thoughts in a positive direction and see the humanness of the man instead of his cruelty. I’m impressed but I can’t pull off what Ram Dass did. It’s too painful to try direct my thoughts in that way, but I can stop obsessing over what I can’t control and find a place of calm within me. That will have to be enough.

I think I’ll go play with my yo-yo for a while.